parenting

Parent-Child Relationship. Case study: Nigerian homes 2

  • Authoritarian parenting style: Authoritarian parents might be compared to dictators, because they are very strict and make the rules without regard for the child’s needs or feelings.

 

  • Authoritative: They have rules, but they listen to and respect the needs of their children. This is a mutual exchange where both parties matter.

 

  • Permissive: They let their children run the show and set the rules.

 

  • Neglectful parenting style: This type of parent has no business with their child or children’s behaviour

 

Now, having examined the parenting styles, the most popular in most Nigerian homes is the authoritarian parenting style. Parents or caregivers believe that when they use the ironclad hands children will turn out better in life, this is not entirely true. By being too strict with a child you invoke fear into that child, when everything must go your (parent) way, you lower the child’s self-esteem. The child in most cases finds it difficult to make decisions.

 

Most parents in Nigeria feel the need to always beat the child at every given time when they make mistakes, time will come when the child will get use to your beatings, that child will also find it difficult to open up to you (parent) when something is bothering him or her. Most Nigerian parents do not believe in their child or children’s dreams or talents, as an authoritarian they always want the child to do what they(parents) want, this can kill a child’s dream.

 

In dealing with your child, there are times when you ignore the rod and use your words but not words as; “useless child”, “idiot”, “mumu”, “olodo” e.t.c. We have few parents who use the authoritative parenting style in Nigeria and I feel this is the best parenting style, this parenting style helps you understand your child better. There is communication between the parents and children.

 

 

 

Another parenting style that is been used is the neglectful, this is the worst parenting style, when a parent chooses to neglect their child’s behaviour this becomes a problem not just to the parent but society as well. A child that is neglected from infancy by his or her parents mostly likely ends up a criminal or prostitute.

 

As a Nigerian parent should you be strict? Yes, you should but not overly strict. There should be a form of balance, spend time with your kid, play with them, discuss issues bothering them with them, do not just be a parent, be their best friend, counsellor, prayer partner, gist mate, e.t.c. Use the cane when necessary and also use your words. Say you are sorry when wrong (this may prove difficult ), use the words “please and thank you”.

Your child should be your top priority, there should always be communication between the both of you.

Read other writings by Hope here

Photo by journey yang on Unsplash

Author: Hope Alfred

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